Interesting Conversation

I love the morning. When the sun still sleeps and the hustle and bustle of the street outside my house has yet to begin, before the classes reign my day, and before the wisdom of a leader is needed. When the silence is interrupted by the seemingly deafening sound of the refrigerator cooling down. Here, in this time, my soul is rested. Sleep no longer does the trick. Blissful silence in Scripture that is where my rest is now, the thoughts of the great men of old written in their sermons or in their books have become the conversations my soul and mind long for. The way a sentence is warped and whipped into compliance and their lovely use of proper English helps to calm my tattered mind.
There are few I now know who I converse with that help my mind they way reading these men do. I covet time with these people. It is, most likely, a very prideful thing I’ve made a habit. Leeching their time to calm my heart. Grabbing a pint with them and discussing the weighty matters is what my heart loves. Sitting on the couch with a peacefully sleeping dog between us while we indulge in sweet heart felt conversation puts at ease a world of fears. Sipping a cup of coffee and reading puritanical thoughts back and forth is a prescription few doctors would give.
But to engage in the superfluous conversations that most Christians babble through, that is a tedium and wear. We are redeemed. We are related. But we talk only about the weather and the kids. We talked about jobs and food, but we shy away from the deep talks… ‘Shy’ really is the best word to use here, the timidity of our cowardly hearts presses us to not reveal who we are.
My guilt in this matter runs deep, and indeed it is the reason I write. Superfluous conversations where we glance cleanly off the surface and never now the deeper heart lying within. I do not understand why we talk in such fashion. Is it our upbringing? Is it our sin? Is it our culture?
Our creepy porcelain face is harder to break than we ever thought or imagined. It remains intact though the sledgehammer crashes down on it. In some groups we splay our hearts open so well and reveal the brokenness within while in others we are a ‘neatly packaged person without a care in the world’… We’ve become good liars. The veil between us and everybody else is a thick one and we’ve hung it so sturdily and mightily I doubt it can be removed in one lifetime.
“Honesty is the best policy” though not written in Scripture is a breath of fresh air in the land of conversations and a good attempt to break the porcelain face with a nuke.