Providing

"I'm a terrible son." That kept running through my mind and out of my lips while I drank my foldgers coffee staring out the window at a Philadelphia intersection. "He's always provided for you, always, and you're just now noticing how much and how often he does this... Where's your head been Sam?"

Now I'm sitting here at Starbucks drinking a free cup of coffee, planing a trip that's being provided for while praying about a life that God is clearly leading. I'm terrible at following, but he's got me in a place where that's all I can do. Sit here and pray that he keeps taking me down the path he wants me on, that my sinful self doesn't jump the gun or overshoot the landing or just be stubborn...

I know he's sovereign and I know I can't screw up his plan - I'm not big enough to do that, but I do want to follow the timing he has.It's an odd place to be, to completely trust in God's timing yet wonder about the timing of things - know what I mean? When the options before you are good and best but you should aim to choose best and not just settle for good... I'm confused writing about this. Plus there's that whole, delayed obedience is still disobedience bit that keeps playing in my head like a broken record.

He'll do it all, he has to, cause I can't anything on my own.

Recent Thoughts

1. God provides

2. Pray about it

3. Sit at gun shows, sell BBQ sauce & learn about marriage. (If I dream about selling sauce then poo.)

4. Isaiah 54:7-8

5. This is my life!

6. Need to raise $1700.00 ASAP, if you want to help then comment! Really though I need all the help I can get so I can head back to Love-N-Care Ministries in India this March.

7. I think my sleep schedule is still all screwy.

8. Classes started. Books bought. Plan, what plan?

9. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood & righteousness.

10. I've been telling a story recently that either a) gives people chills or b) makes them cry. And it's a true story. God is nuts yo!

Follow the Leader

If I knew what to write at the beginning of this post then I'd write about it throughout, but I don't. India was wonderful, again. It was harder to leave this time than the first time (which I guess means this next time will be even more difficult). But it also let me remember things.

When I first became a Christian I wanted to be a missionary to anywhere. First I got to go to Israel with my senior class then to Egypt with some friends. Next was Uganda, but on the flight home from Uganda I remember distinctly being told - or lead - to know that my times of traveling had come to an end, that it was time to do work in Wichita.

And that's exactly what happened. As an intern I helped, by the sheer grace of God youth grasp the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. As a pastor at a church plant I saw God build his church and discipline me lovingly, growing me in my knowledge of people and my understanding of God.

But I'm not an intern anymore nor am I a pastor.

I can't deny he's leading me to something else. I can't fight the call on my life. I can't overlook the first desire of my heart, the one he had me set aside for a time.

My dad said it well, "Preach Jesus and him crucified and raised from the dead and ruling in grace and mercy."