Let’s talk grace.
Completely undeserved gift, completely free, completely.
I remember a few years back understanding grace in a new and
beautiful way. The phrase, “Free grace,” was what I lived under. The teachings
through Galatians were what I sat under, and all the while a banner of
unmerited grace was flown high for any and all to see. Those were some amazing
months.
Since then my understanding of grace hadn’t grown too much.
There’d been no further study or understanding of grace. No
other facet of the diamond of grace had been shown to me. Nothing had pushed it
forward in my brain.
But I can’t say that anymore.
Again, and differently I’m seeing grace and re-understanding
the verse at the top of this blog. Knowing myself to be wretched and
undeserving but God to be in total control and loving. But I want to be in control
of the grace being given to me…
Weird. I want to concretely know that grace will be there
tomorrow and the next day and forever. I want to ration it out to myself. I
want to be so sure of it that I can hold on to it. But I can’t hold on to this
free gift – it holds on to me.
So here I sit, lavished by grace, undeserved and beautiful
and scary too.
