It had been a terrible eight months – and by “terrible” I mean it was hell of a time where I was prescribed anti-anxiety medicine and underwent EKG’s and tests to see what was going on neurologically with me. I hadn’t been that way before ever, it was an all-of-a-sudden kind of deal.
At the time I had been working at the church I helped start for three years and was dating a lady who I hoped to be my wife – but knew it was the wrong thing to do – and I was taking 12 hours of graduate school. So between school, the fumbling relationship and the 60-70 hours of work a week I had burned out my adrenal glands. I, at 23, suffered three massive anxiety attacks in which I crawled to the shower to attempt to regain control of my body and shattered mind. Things were spiraling out of control.
The day came, it was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I sat down with my boss, the Lead Pastor, and we began talking about my necessary resignation. It was difficult, but felt freeing too. That night, while talking with my girlfriend, she dumped me – if I’m honest I saw this coming from two months away, but was still taken off guard by it.
So there in one clean sweep of a day God had removed me from my job and taken my girlfriend from me – I expected to fail all my classes too just to have the cherry on top (by God’s grace that didn’t happen).
This whole while the growing understanding of my time in Wichita coming to an end, it kept coming through in random thoughts as well as planning thoughts; I didn’t understand why I was having them. More than that I couldn’t understand the timing God had me on – the reason I had to resign then, why?!? I thought there was another year in Wichita then leaving, but God was doing something that was undeniable.