Monday, July 16, 2012

Waiting for Dinner

"For the hope beyond the blue."

I'm a cynic. We're all of sure of it (all three of you who read this blog & myself). Good things happen and I'm the fella in the back going, "Just wait, you'll see...."

This has been shown pretty clear the last two days.

Good things: meeting new people and nice conversations. Questionable things: why would they respond that way, or is-there-really-been-a-change types, of questions. In all of them I've sat, or at least seen, from the view of the cynic.

I'm not quite sure this is wrong. It may be.

I'm sure we're probably supposed to see from a middle point, sometimes cynic sometimes pessimist. Looking onto both sides of things and saying, while seeing, the intricacies of both sides. (Or, at least, the possibilities therein.)

But this is still hard for me. (I'm just writing as it comes....)

I know people to be broken, to be faulty, to be sin filled. I know myself to be the same way, most definitely. I know not to put my hope in anyone, ever. But that doesn't stop me. I still return to doing it again, and again, and again... etc.

I know my hope should be in Jesus Christ and none other ("My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness."). And I know that my biggest problem (sin/damnation/the just wrath of God) has already been taken care of by Jesus.

But I also know that the point I made before is still terribly true - I'm a sinner.

The middle ground is foggy, and the ditches seem to be homey. I'm stupidly comfortable in the broken vessel I inhabit. I like to talk about me more than God....

But this I know with all my heart... his wounds have paid my ransom.

O my God. Thank God.

So whie I wait for dinner to finishing cooking, I'll look to the bloody, gory, beautiful cross by the grace and mercy of God.

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